I’m sharing my journey because I know it will help out those who are hoping to improve their experiences and circumstances. I’ve made a lot of mistakes throughout my life. In fact, I’ve made them over and over so often that they are comfortably numb.
The mistakes we make are the habits that we do that do not serve us. They may distract us with a fleeting moment of happiness but then leaves us empty. I used tobacco, alcohol, drugs, video games, sex, sleep, and procrastination to avoid feeling any pain or suffering. Instead of dealing with difficult emotions, I stuffed them and directed them towards myself. I wasn’t aware of what was happening to me and why I was experiencing depression from the age of 17 to 40. I was confused, scared, and trapped by my own thoughts about who I was and what I was doing here.
I always felt like I had a much bigger mission in life. I even knew what it was and occasionally made feeble attempts at living my purpose. The habits I set up to avoid painful emotions never let me get too far and always kept success beyond the horizon. Even the smallest adversities would seem like climbing a mountain in swim trunks. I would just shut down and do everything I could to avoid this discomfort. I may be able to get going again at some point but that effort would be even weaker than the one before it.
This pattern continued for decades. My body began to ache. I hadn’t exercised in years. The side effects of anti-depressants terrified me. I had migraines quite often. Hangovers would last for days not just the morning after. I was severely overweight with sleep apnea and high blood pressure. This led to divorce and living away from my daughter. She was the light that urged me to keep going after my mission.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
The first habit that dropped was drinking. Taking days to recover was no way to live. I did feel marginally better. Then I changed what I ate. My diet was loaded with processed foods and sugars and it had to go next. Honestly, my experience has shown me that what I eat has had the greatest influence on how I felt physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically. I utilized juice fasting to kick the sugar cravings. I fell in love with Personal Trainer Food for it’s simplicity in meal planning and taste. These changes helped me go from having a good day maybe once a month or less to more than half of my days being what I considered “good.”
I still had more bad habits to break. Video games and movies dominated my free time outside of work. I wanted to accomplish so much more but was unable to for reasons I wasn’t clear on. It was four years into my healing journey that Reiki showed up in my life. A friend of mine had just been attuned and asked if I would like to be a guinea pig for her to practice on. I had never heard of it, but I have always been open to alternative practices and spirituality, so I agreed.
I would feel really good for a couple of days and then anxiety would show up in a huge wave. I discovered that Reiki would instantly calm me so I would set up a session when it showed up. I would receive Reiki once or twice a week. This went on for 3 months until I had an epiphany moment where everything just made sense. I knew I would never have to deal with depression again from that point forward, although I did choose to experience it again as a way to learn how to connect with those that are currently struggling with these issues.
Reiki became part of fulfilling my purpose. My friend directed me to a teacher she knew I would love and she was absolutely correct. Sandee taught me all 3 levels of Reiki certifying me as a Master. From the first day I was attuned, Reiki became a part of my daily living. I practice self Reiki every day and work with clients and do distance Reiki most days. The greatest benefits are being at peace and in the present. Being present helps me to be hyperaware of the choices I make and make sure that my habits serve me in fulfilling my purpose.
I went from barely surviving to thriving in this life experience. I am energized each morning to do what I know I should be doing. I contemplate with gratitude at the end of each day. I appreciate each moment of every day. I enjoy interacting with others, listening, and inspiring to drop all fears and chase their larger than life dreams. I am aware that we are all capable of completely healing ourselves and living our best possible lives.
Has Reiki found you?