That may seem like an odd question to ask. In fact, your actual question was probably, “How do you beat depression?” This was the question I asked for over 20 years during my experience with severe depression. It is only now that I am able to reframe that question into something a little more useful, and hopefully it can help you to begin your healing. My writings are based on my own personal truths. Take what resonates with you and leave that which does not. We are all on our own unique journey.
Asking how to beat depression creates a you vs. it mentality. I thought of depression as a shadowy thing that was not a part of me. This allowed me to shift the blame of everything crumbling in my life on this external thing. It felt like it was something that I had to do battle with but had no clue how to do it. In it’s early stages I just avoided it completely. I slept a lot. At times 18 hours a day. When I was awake I escaped with video games or movies. These were not good habits if I wanted to get good grades and finish college. I did stick with it and finally earned a degree after 6 years and transferring schools 3 times.
As time went on, it began to linger around for months at a time. I was able to work, but it was just going through the motions. Eventually I wouldn’t even want to go through the motions and the only thing that I could do to combat that was to move on to another job and start fresh. I was always in higher spirits when starting something new. This pattern would then continue every year or 2.
My personal life struggled as well and mimicked the same pattern. New relationships would invigorate me, but the luster would inevitably go away. Marriage just made it worse for everyone involved because a life long commitment was not to be taken lightly. This just prolonged the relationship and it only became more miserable.
I talked with numerous counselors with the same fleeting results. I tried medications and experienced a lot of bizarre side effects. I read a lot of self-help books. I tried group therapy which was great for me while I was there because I was able to share my knowledge on the subject with others. I did not see this as my calling at the time. Apparently, there was more for me to learn before that realization would take place.
There was one book in particular that encouraged me to be more involved with my own healing. It was the first time I potentially linked a cause for my depression which were concussions. I spoke with a neurologist. I started playing Lumosity brain games. I became more conscious about what I put in my body. This helped me lose nearly 70 pounds. The months long depressive episodes turned into weeks and days. I was still looking over my shoulder waiting for it to show up, though, I was less fearful than I had ever been.
I had made it to a point where I thought that I could manage it and live a simple life. This still felt like defeat to me because I wanted to live a fantastic life full of joy and laughter and friends. The simple life I created to manage the depression did not have any of these things. I had a deep desire to bring this fantastic life to fruition. I know now that I was using the Law of Attraction to bring this about, but at the time I was just building determination. I knew of The Secret. I had even tried to implement it without luck. When a friend of mine presented me with the opportunity to receive reiki treatments from her as her “guinea pig” I said yes.
I had no idea what to expect at the time, but I see now that it was the thoughts and feelings of living an amazing life that was sent out into the universe coming back to me. I felt great after each treatment which was once or twice a week. Something unexpected happened 3 months later. The only word that comes close to describing the experience is epiphany, but even that falls short. It was this moment that everything became crystal clear. I could see the big picture. I knew what the depression was and also knew that I would never have to deal with it personally again. I knew this as well as I know that 2+2=4.
Looking back, the most important thing that took place was accepting the responsibility for my own well-being. It did not happen overnight, but it did continually get better and better. I know now that depression was never a separate entity from myself. It was simply the outward result of what was going on internally. Thoughts and feelings are vibrations. Our bodies and everything physical is also vibration. Anger, despair, fear, anxiety, worry are all low vibratory thoughts and lead to our bodies having these same low vibrations creating dissonance from healthy vibrations. As my thoughts became more empowered, so did my body. Now I am very mindful of which thoughts are allowed to linger on and which ones are dismissed as unhelpful.
Do you beat depression? My answer is no. We can only become a better (or higher vibrating) version of ourselves. My calling is to assist you in living your best life. I bring compassion and a firm belief that you will be able to heal yourself. I invite you to take advantage of a free introductory self-empowerment coaching or reiki session with me to see if we are a good fit with each other.